and things were very historical
I'm Riet. I werf flammen at things I don't like and pickel the hauben of things I like. History. Crass jokes. Revolution. Conrad Veidt's impossible face. Mitchell and Webb. Big smooshy dogs. Germany. Dapper folks. Werfing flammen at bigots, especially Naztalgists. Uniforms. Folk Punk. Cowardice. Crushing depression. Pickelhaubes. Politics. Gulag. Genocide. The Aubreyad. Russian music. Klezmer. Cookies. Hornblower. Things what look like other things. And finally, the love of my life, the Red Army Chorus.
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el oh el

also got a piece of news that confirms i don’t deserve to live if this doesn’t work out. there is no plan b, or at least no plan b to which death is not preferable. i’m only halfway being melodramatic this time.

it’s been great being able to fall asleep without a comforting assessment of all the lethal means at my disposal. some people count sheep. some don’t.

OH MY GOD

I GOT AN AWARD (for foolishly refusing to abandon my watch) AND WE GOT DETACHED TWO WEEKS EARLIER THAN NORMAL AND I THINK THOSE TWO THINGS WERE A LITTLE BIT RELATED.

This means we can go to the bathroom individually! We can go get cereal from the mess hall! We don’t have to all stand out on the quay while half the class smokes Newports! We don’t have to wait for the guys to come downstairs for breakfast and they don’t have to shout “SEVEN NINE TWO” in the stairwell as we angrily get dressed! We can move as human beings and not as an irritated stampede! (well, not really. we have to form up six to eight times a day for marching/muster/colors. but oh my god.)

we literally marched to the library singing “Free At Last”.

The smokers came down for their last cigarette of the day and yelled “SEVEN NINE TWO” as a fine jest. we joyfully told them the exact manner in which they could fuck themselves. feels good man.

had my first real sunglasses moment (in which i actually had sunglasses)

  • watts: man, i feel pretty salty after standing out there in the spray scrubbing all the bird shit off the dock. I can still smell the ocean on my shirt.
  • me: well i guess you're salty because technically you...*sunglasses* swabbed the poop deck.
  • watts: *head in hands*
  • me: YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Russia’s ancient history grew on trees

archaeologicalnews:

image

VELIKY NOVGOROD, RUSSIA — The note, from father to son, was the sort of routine shopping list that today would be dashed off on a smartphone. In 14th century Russia, it was etched into the bark of a birch tree and curled into a scroll.

“Send me a shirt, towel,…

now they’re talking about filming a privacy screen construction/safe usage tutorial like those 90’s safety videos we have to watch.

on one hand, (pun intended) i really hope this happens because that would be the greatest thing ever

on the other hand, jesus christ guys. i’m pretty sure some of the things I know about you are things that some of your girlfriends (and wives!) don’t know.

these guys though

  • someone, for some reason, with no context: I'm allowed to feel pretty, goddamnit!
  • literally everyone: I FEEL PRETTY *raises arms, whirls around*
  • literally everyone: I FEEL PRETTY AND WITTY AND GAAAAAYYYYYY!
  • three people: and I pity
  • three people: any girl who isn't me todaaaay!
  • Chang: Lalalalala la la laaaah lala!
  • everyone: o.o
  • Chang: *passionate defense of West Side Story*

bellecs:

deans-so-gay:

piefacemcgee:

kinetic-squirrel:

ethiopienne:

perfection

If you feel like cringing yourself to death and crying to sleep for the rest of your life should you miraculously survive the ordeal, you can watch it on youtube

I couldn’t make it two minutes in

Save yourselves

barely made it 15 seconds in 

n o p e

I WENT TOO FAR

NSFW

scrapironflotilla:

Looking for the battalion - Will Dyson, 1917.

scrapironflotilla:

Looking for the battalion - Will Dyson, 1917.

(Quelle: awm.gov.au)

A limerick:

ihavealotoffeelings:

toothlessrebel:

asgardiantelevision:

image

Doesn’t look like a limerick to you? Try this:

A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.

THE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCCCKKKKKKK

GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR MATH SORCERY.

  • Man: Why do you get to wash windows and we're scrubbing the dock?
  • Woman: It's because you're so ~big and skrong~ [flexes]
  • Man: Man, I ain't strong! I'm weak! You're supposed to be a strong black woman!
  • Woman: That's some bullshit white people made up so we would clean their houses and change their diapers!
  • Everyone in earshot: OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT
  • Me: WHO THE FUCK TOOK MY oh there it is

ectoplasmicinterloper:

back when i was a bee keeper my bees were really gentle and one time i scooped up a handful of them and i got rly emotional and wanted to kiss them and i essentially faceplanted myself into a palm full of bees while crying and that’s an important fact about me

houseofmack:

Mash up of Rachmaninoff and the old hymn Great Is Thy Faithfulness by Gale Murphy

WOW

“Well,——me,” he said. “A ——ing wizard. I hate ——ing wizards!”
“You shouldn’t —— them, then,” muttered one of his henchmen, effortlessly pronouncing a row of dashes.
I love this joke, (Mort, Terry Pratchett)

(Quelle: itmakesmefeelsomop)